"
Sometimes I think about everything that we been through and I pray that U would just open ur eyes... I love U, I need U... so please don't throw our love away... I've given everything. I loved U endlessly. But when it comes to me, U don't even notice me. All that's mine is urs, that's what I said. Treat U with love and respect in everyway. U wanted I gave, U need me I was there. Now U treat like if I'm not here. I love U and I need U. Don't wanna let go. If U want somebody else please let me know. Can't take it no more. I feel I'm dying inside. Is this the price I pay for handing U my life? I know I'm not perfect but I truly cared. So when U wake up one morning and I'm not there. Just remember I loved U. It will never be the same. Gave U everything and U threw it all away... I've given everything. I loved U endlessly. But when it comes to me, U don't even notice me. "
' Notice Me ' by NB Ridaz
I'm so tired... tired from work... tired from talking... tired from having to smile and laugh... tired from seeing lots of pple... tired from walking through crowd... tired from doing detours of my many routes... tired from thinking too much... tired from insomia... tired from missing...missing...
Christmas is coming but why is my life so gloomy? So hectic? So bothering? So tired? So cold...
Where is my season to be jolly? Where is the warmth that I'm suppose to feel?
Oh well... at least I do have friends around. At least I still know I exist. Though I have to organise gathering and everyone can only spare me a few hours of their precious time. At least I had a gathering in the goodwill of Christmas.Even if it isn't Christmas day we are celebrating or even eve of Christmas.
Everyone is just too busy...Please don't forget to enjoy Christmas. Cos its a day full of Love, Joy, Peace and Laughters. No matter how hectic life can get, stop everything that you are doing on this day and make yourself a merry merry Christmas. If you are fortunate enough to have that special person next to you, bask in the warmth and smile at all the love that you are receiving. Be thankful that you are being loved.
Few more hours and will be having a steamboat @ Wendy's place with the rest of the clique. Though its going to be a extremely short gathering, I will enjoy myself.
Just earlier, had a special gathering with the old Lips pple... Only ting did not turn up... The gathering was quiet... I realise everyone don't seem to have much to say to each other. Why? Tired? Or everyone just don't see the need to say anything? I want to know if everyone is happy. I want to know if everyone have a new philosophy of their life.
I'm really too tired todae to want to start any conversation that requires the brain. I shall try to do that the next time we have a gathering... I shall ensure that I have a good rest and not stay awake at nite.
Presents...presents...presents... Do I get any? I got 1 from Elder. Thank you! I told her I really like the Starbucks Christmas items and she got me one of them. So sweet. Oh! Did I tell that I love the hot toffee nut latte. I love it! I drink it everytime I watch a movie @ lido previously... Now its kinda hard for me to get as there ain't any nearby SB for me to purchase. Even worse... its only a season drink, so after Christmas I guess I won't see much of it anymore...
These days all I feel like doing is to stay home... maybe cos my sis isn't home so there isn't much noise... Hmmm... the TV programs are good. I never fail to watch kids central in the morning and I'm getting addicted to the cartoons again. My mum has given up hope on me. She just allows me to watch all the cartoons I want. Hahaa! If only I'm able to psycho her to get me disney channel and nickelodeon. Its like so cool! I wana watch Jimmy Neutron. He's cute.
Yup! Channel 5 is also getting good with the prime time movies they are showing. next up is Ocean eleven. I wana watch it cos I think George Clooney is charming.
Yup! I'm spending Christmas as a single. As usual.Except this time I know what I want Santa to get me. Cos I know what I'm missing.
I knew from that night something special went on...
"
Now tell me is this the only way I can get U right back in. If so then searchin' I'll go, then I can have U for sure. Then U'll be loving me, holding me, kissing me. So girl Baby don't tell me what I'm feeling is make believe. I swear if I lose a second chance with U I wouldn't know what to do. I'd probably check myself into some kind of clinic. I couldn't be alone, because without U, I'm sick.
Here's my wish list. First one, I would create a heart changing love. Second one, I'll take Urs and fill it all up. Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one. If I had one wish, we would be best friends. Love would never end, it would just begin. If I had one wish, U would be my boo. Promise to love U, trust me, I'll trust U. If I had one wish, we would run away. Making love all day, have us a baby. If I had one wish, I'd make U my whole life. And U'd be my wife Dear, make it right this time. If I had one wish. "
A song on the radio these days... 1 that struck me in the heart... One Wish by Ray J.
It seems when it comes to love. Even when all I want is just 1 simple wish... it wouldn't come.
All that can be done is only to hope and pray for that one day went love hears my call and come and grant me that 1 simple wish. To be able to truly love U again.Just U and me.
Alone.
Haven't been blogging for awhile. Since I got off my job at the bank. Alwaes hated computers so trying to stay away from it as much as possible. But at times I just feel like have my feelings down in black and white. Blogging. I don't know if wat I'm going to blog would still give you the feeling I had at that point in time. But its still a piece of my mind.
Have been watching lots of movies. to be exact, there isn't a movie that I have yet to watch * exclude horror films* I been to comedies, romance, thrillers... I love cartoons, I love a good happy ending, I want to know what happens next.
Chicken Little.
I love this cartoon! Its so cuteeeeeee!!! I love Fish and Herbie the alien kid. So adorable. It really made me laugh. * lollipop lollipop Lop Lop Lop lollipop* I laughed so loudly in the cinema. I hope there wasn't anyone I know that saw such a hideous side of me. I laughed at any small joke. There was even a part where I was the only one laughing aloud. I watched it twice. I always love cartoons. They never fail to potrait the most beautiful part of the world.
Perhaps Love.
I was overwhelmed. I fell for it just reading its title. The actors were really good. I fell in love with Jacky Cheung's voice all over again. He's voice is just so good and he could really sing and act the part of the director in the movie. He always have this sadness to his eyes. he always gets the role of the sacrificer *is there such a word?*. To give up love. the noble role.
Takeshi Kenishiro. Mesmerising. I tot it was really touching for him to go back to the place his love began. To tape down his feelings each time he went back. To go back for the woman he love even if she hurt him so much. I like his striped suit. I like the sentence he said. ' I'm afraid to sleep, cos I always see you in my dreams. And each time I'll lose you again. I don't want to go through the heartbreak over and over again. '
Zhou Xun. Just beautiful inside. Her voice is really sexy.
The whole show left me breathless. I wanted to cry and yet the tear just stayed there in my socket.
I love the start of the entire show. the analogy on love and a film. I'll never forget it.
Pride & Prejudice
Mr Darcy... Is there still such a man around or even anyone out there like him? I want to meet such a man. I'm sure at least he would not break my heart. I remember the scene where Elizabeth ran in the rain and he ran after her. Confess his love for her. I cried in this movie. I cried for the love that was at a point given up by Elizabeth. I cried when she found out she was in love with Mr Darcy as well. A happy ending nonetheless. The scenery is just spectacular. I do want to see it myself. Feel the air there. The magnificant structures.
I always remember the ending where she ask him what she should call him when she is happy. It was the sweetest thing.
These are the 3 movies that I remember vividly. They have a thing in common. they all made me wish U were around. To laugh, to hug, to just hold my hand through and at the end to smile at me.
Thanks to adidi for being such a great movie khaki. To accompany me to all the movies I watched. To wait for me and to inform me of great movies to come. Next movie... Undisturbed.
Met Tiff. Had a Great Big meal. Talked and laughed. It felt so good. Its been so long since we did such a thing. She is always busy nowadays. Always away.
I permed my hair. I wanted a little change. But to say the fact, its only 4 days and my hair is kinda straight. Hahaa!
I'm trying to lose lots of weight. I'm growing fatter and I hate that of myself.
I've been hanging out with my clique very often these daes. They still ask me of her. Still give me a hug from seeing my look. Even say I should get her this really nice polo shirt. But too bad there wasn't her size left. And after that just told me to forget it. This is my clique.
I did found something I like while I went down to wait for Wendy to end. Tried the top and skirt on. I really like the top. Don't know if I should take that money out to get it.
Yesterday I saw Cindy walking alone on the street. Had the urge to call out to her but I don't know what I should do next so I just watch her walk past me.
Yesterday Zul lai fa spilled a whole cup of coke over me. Haiz... I give up. I wonder if Wendy had to go through this too. My jeans was soaked in coke. Wendy could still appreciate the colour the jeans in coke. Wat goes on in an artist mind I wonder.
Today, I finally went back to candystall. There is such a crowd. Candies off the shelf within minutes. Phine had to kept tying ribbons on the new bottles just so we had something to sell. Wat a scene! She stayed with me to the end. We made the highest sales again. Yippie!
Got home and watched Lord of The Rings. Fantastic. I just can't get enough of it. I can't wait for Narnia to be out. LOTR, Starwars, Harry Potter, Narnia, they are all just so appealing to me. Phine, maybe you r rite... I may be a boy. Hahaa!
These days I have been more and more of a loner. Todae, I went jogging alone. Past weeks I went tanning alone. Don't ask me why? I just didn't want anyone around. Or to say... I only wanted 1 person around.
I use to be afraid to be alone. I needed to be around pple. But now, I realise I shun away from pple. I try to avoid pple or crowds. I only hang out with those close to my heart. And my receiver and discman are my best companion. If I could not speak, I'll be more than glad to stay silent. To fade into non-existence.
The title of this blog is ' Blogging again with a tear... '
I've given everything. I loved U endlessly. But when it comes to me. U don't even notice me...
