" 时间分割成对角 停止你对我的好 瓦解我们的依靠 "

Time really brings along alot of beautiful things as it goes pass... Leaving the little memories that one has to so tightly hold on. Time takes away people and things that may so dearly you want to hold, and yet it wouldn't completely take al of it.

Today, is really a day for the first time i feel that i lost words of speech. The power to talk.
Someone dear has been taken by God to the Heavens above. This person in a way is a stranger to me, and yet someone I can relate to.
The news of the lost of this person has made me speechless for words. Empty. Words of care didn't come nor did words of comfort. I didn't know what I could say to ease the pain of losing someone so dear.
Life is so hectic, so fast, so busy. Time goes on and on. Paces gets faster and faster. Yet when one day you finally decided to stop, to just slow down your pace and appreciate the people and things around you... Suddenly, you realise time has brought them along.

To a Fren, I am so Sorry for the lost of Someone so important.

" One day, a girl prayed to god and prayed to be able to meet the man of her life. God answered to her prayers and asked what qualities she wanted in the partner she wants. The girl replied, ' I want someone who is loving, caring, sweet, smart, generous, humourous and sensitive. ' God then replied her, ' My dear, I can not give you a person who has all this qualities because it is not fair. For my dear, you are not always loving, you sometimes fail to care, you may not always be sweet, you may not always be smart in ways, you are sometimes selfish, you do not always carry a great sense of humour and you can be insensiitve at times. Hence, I cannot give you the perfect partner you are looking for as you are not perfect. I can only give you someone like you, not always perfect but who can with time, grow to be the perfect person you have been looking for. With time, you will too grow with the person. You will both learn from each other and grow together. Yoo will both learn to commit to each other, and be there for each other.' "

This will then lead to marriage and how a marriage should be. I heard this on Perfect 10 last nite... and i tot its really lovely. For there is no such thing as a perfect person. The person is perfect only because you love the person.

Its been days since i last wrote what i felt and what i've been doing....
Juz went to Wing's 21st b'dae celebration. Ytd. It was well.... very grand. It really shows how likable she is, and how very sociable. Amazing at the amt of ppl tat came... close to a 100? is there?
Been feeling a little irritated with everything... ppl, things, problems and words......
Being feeling terribly lonely these daes, empty feeling, the longing for a warm hug to assure tat everything is okie. Pressing issues on getting a job is really making me upset. Ppl never seem to stop on that. Well, can't blame them for being caring can I ? Been looking through the papers already. Then its always the 'money issue' that can never be solve unless I get a job!
Been feeling like a GIGANTIC light bulb these days cause everyone around me seem to be getting in pairs. Everyone seem to be xtra loving. Its great to see frens all blissful and well... in love but it can get terribly lonely. Suddenly no one seem to have the time for me anymore. It also seem to get more difficult to get along with ppl. Cos im starting to fear and feel irritated by them. Maybe i'm the one thats difficult to get along. Je Ne Sais Pas?

Charmaine's b'dae is comin. Its tis Saturday!!! I hope its gona Fun Fun Fun!!! But there seem to be alot of probs with the travelling and the transporting and the ppl. Maine been kinda stressed up with this. It seem like her timing is so unfavorable. Difficult to get ppl. Hopefully her fren can help.
Heard that her presents r all lik yummy! Crumpler bag, Levis jeans, Vouchers, Brikenstock, Converse shoes. Do you tink she will let me have some of it? hee!
I hope i dun have to socialize much cos i'm not exactly a social butterfly.... and pls dun rain! cos rain = indoor = cramp = boring = I see you, you see me = nothing to do = all you can do is slp. Erm.... tink muz do a ritual to stop the rain! Hahaa!
Anw, juz hope the whole thing goes well and it will be something to remember.

These days the weather is like a woman. Flickle- minded. 1st its a sunny day, then it starts to make you wet in the armpits, then it starts to pour with wind that can make your umbrella look like a woman's skirt being flip over. Then it stops suddenly, and when you tot its safe to go out, it makes you look like a chicken tat juz fall into the water. Whats with it!

I'm growing fatter! n i'm so motivate to do something abt it. I've been trying to find khakis to accompany me to go jogging or swimming or tanning or do something!!!! But well, don't tink I'm quite the convincer ( is there such a word? ) No one seem to be free to do such things with me. Hmmm... I better start fast b4 I can't control anymore! Any volunteer? Hee!

Yes, I terribly miss you alot. Been wondering if you ever start missing me. And then I start thinking and then I start trying not to think and then I start telling myself everything is alrite. I'm like the weather!
Listening to the radio these days don't help. Hmmm.... ' we belong together' keeps coming on then ' Jie Tuo' then tis song that goes ' take my picture off the wall if it wont sing for you...' . (*_*")

Alrite! Stop! I tink I better go read a book... Too da Loo!

Tis is something I remembered when i watched ' Starwars' ytd. I dun remember the exact dialogues but I do have an impression on it cos its talking about as one goes along, one gains something or someone. Upon gaining, one wants more and more. One gets jealous when unable to have wat is desired. Gets possesive and feels miserable.

' Starwars ' is really gd! Everyone should watch it! It was real exciting. The feeling of the galaxy at war. The amazement of the imagination of the the different robots. The fighting scenes were superb! The language was funny.

I duno y bt your image has been in my head tis daes... and no matter how hard i try, i cant seem to stop your face from appearing in my mind.

Went tanning ytd w 3 other flowers and a small bud. Hahaa! Serene, Tiff, Jess and Nath. The funi combi bt nt too bad. The sun ain't very sunny and it rained bt the amazing thing is they managed to get burnt! Wat is tis man! I dun even look lik i went tanning! how pathetic!
It seems like this few times that i went tanning, i never manage to get a tan. Hmmm..... anyone noes y? I'm stuck with tis yellowish color and i tink it suck!

Had steamboat at Jess's place in the evening. Suppose to have lunch bt well, we got a little off time...
It was nice, cos Jess n i had been craving for it. Everyone enjoyed tremendously i hope.... Hee! cos i did!
We watched ' Fifth Element ' after tat. It was so good! I always had something for shows lik tat. it was real nice to watch a show tat has been so long ago... Reminds me of the daes when i 1st watched it. Young n things i dun understand, the language, the humour.... It seems enjoyable to watch everytime.

Hahaa! the silly thing i did? i forgot to ask the exact time for ' Starwars ' ytd and i alomst missed watchin it! hahaa! Anw, on the way down w Nath n Tiff. Guess wat i saw? Germie n Zoe. Hahaa! n Tiff didn't believe till she went up to them. Unbelieveable. Wat r frens? I duno.....
Aniwae, rushed to watched it at 915pm aft taking a cab from Jess's place.
Met Jess n Hansen aft the movie to go chill at Winebar. Ironic, bt i wished i saw you there. You would have fit rite in, lookin all cute n sophisticated. Hahaa! Dumb...
So we juz slack there looking at pretty ppl. Not a bad idea, if time is all u wana waste....

Fish seems to b kinda affected by wat she saw ytd..... n guess i could understand. Bt guess sometimes if the person do not wan to take the effort to keep a connection then there is no point in trying too hard to treasure it, isn't it?

HL!!! Know u muz be busy wrking now.... aft tat swallowing of the ball ytd, r u intending to get a new one again? beta b more careful okie!

" Something had changed, almost imperceptibly. We took our cues from each other before talking and apologized when our hands accidentally touched as we both reached for the butter. Our interaction once charged with electricity, lacked the sparks that had kept us attentive and alert to the signs that we were both still dancing the dance... ... "


How sad to know that wat we once had may juz fade with some little incidents and little mistakes.... or juz fade because the electricity between us have been cut by other circuit. Or did it juz fade....... Why still bother to keep up the act?

Haven't been blogging.... kinda upset tis daes i guess.... but lets hope somethings or someone will come and distract me.

When and watch ' Kingdom of Heaven ' on Monday night. It was a really good show..... the conscience of a person.... the tot to always hold peace. Of all the characters, I fancy the prince the most. He's someone though of a young age, is neither afraid to die or weak. He was wise, calm, peace-loving and nonetheless brave. He held a courage i admire, a courage i wish everyone will have. Due to his stupid bro-in-law( ghee) * Isn't it fats in blocks? * that cost trouble with the Islamic ppl who share the holy land. The prince had to make peace so as to stop a war. Hence he had to ride out into the desert to meet the Islamic King to make peace. The prince was a Leproer so to go into the desert means to kill him as he could not come in contact with the dirt.
Yes, he died as a result. But i would say he was really brave to face it. Guess this quality only comes with special ppl.

Well, the movie was good but wat came after the movie was sad.... Why on my way home? Guess my wish came true but at the wrong time.... Upset as i may be.... there's nothing i can do.

I'm so stress! It seem like i can't get the job i want... For interest or for $$$. It seems tat i can't get the job i want....
A little stress by my mum....then she had to stress me everyday..... then there is my forever irritating sister (-_-") Keep tinkin like she's a millionaire and goes arnd the hse screaming at the rest of us.... Hates it when she comes into my rm and takes stuffs lik everything is hers! then when i use some of her stuffs, she starts making war!
Wat kind of a stupid sister i can have!I was telling Fish ytd tat i wish i can earn alot and throw all the money at her face! PITA!

Anw, couldn't sleep well these days so decided i needed to make myself lik super tire. Dun tink, don't Dream! Juz slp! and so i went swimming with Fish ytd. Not much swimmin... bt well, at least Fish was so tire she fell aslp rite away....
Me? read my book that i borrowed from the library and hope i fall aslp.... which i did after a long while.

Haben been meeting Donkey for a real long time.... wonder how she is doing....I forgot to thx her in my previous blog for helpin me make my blogskin. Thxs a million!

Fang... muz really thx you for being there.... i truely understand the torture you went through last time.... it really isn't easy to stop crying....

I hope everything is fine.... Smiles will always be there....

" I see Jack, the object of my affection, across a medow and run to him in slow motion with open arms. Only as i make my way toward him, I have to step over prickly weeds and rocks hidden under muddy soil like land mines, so that by the time i reach him, I'm too damned tired to do anything more than tell him to get out of my way so i can wash off and clean myself up... and then curse him for picking such a crappy medow in the first place. "


Ironic as it may seem, i guess its true. If one has fought and tried so very hard to get to the special person. The one person you dreamt of every night... When one finally get to the person and all your effort seem to come to nothing, the disappointment, the pain and anger of the whole process just gets to you. Don't you think?

Its a Sunday today. Its gonna be 5 pm. The day is wasting away with me sitting in front of the television and then now the computer.
Well, something to make my life a little more interesting then it looks...

Ytd, i went to Koonie's b'dae chalet at Pasir Ris, as usual.... the food, the groups of rowdy ppl, the card games, the booze and the juicy gossips on ppls' past. Nth really interesting? Hmmm.... how interesting can a chalet get?
Erm.... i saw Carol, and Doreen! they were at the opposite chalet from Koonie! ! Interesting Fact No. 1! heez! Then i got to noe 4 more frens from the chalet! Hahaa! All the pretty gals. Cute! Hahaa!
Koonie is 1 lucky gal i would say, she got so many presents! and most of them r from ADIDAS!!! OMG! Isn't it gd? I oso want!!!

Anw, knew pretty gals and find them real nice. U know wat! I finally found 1 person that is kinda lik me except prettier. Hahaa! She doesnt hav a single bf or gf til now! OMG! i tot i'm the only 1 who is so coo coo! So cool! i found someone who understands! Hahaa! Bt kinda shocking cos she really is kinda pretty.
Yup! i want to say that Jovi super cartoon lah! Haiyo! Tot she look kinda cool last time, now i tell u she super 38!!! * Faint* Then she got so excited playin ytd she slap my hubby HL on her thigh! It was so red.... poor HL....

Tell you all a scandal...... Doreen finally has someone on her list of potentials! I'm so happy for her. Finally she can get over a jerk!

Hahaa! Charmaine's birthday is coming soon! Its her 21st! She's having a chalet! hee! some exciting! hmmm.... wat should i get her? Hey ppl! any idea? call me to see if we can come up with something? Guess i will go ask her wat she wants nonetheless bt i definately not gona get her that stupid thing that cover your head costing 500 BUCKS!!! Tough luck Charmaine, my dad's surname is not Nathan!

Its Sunday....... and i'm tinking of you...

Nowadays been listening to jolin's Tian Kong and Maroon 5's Sunday Morning... ...

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would bring me back to you
That someday it would bring me back to you

" How ironic that in order to gain something you had to give something up..... and that even in the revered realm of love it was no different. As if a relationship required sacrificing something, some part of yourself, in order to truly mean anything. "

Does sacrificing some part of yourself for a love you treasure really allows you to hav a love that guarantee ' ever after' ?
Y do one have to sacrifice being yourself juz to love someone? Isn't it the original you that the person loves in the first place? I totally dun get it.....
And when one changes, and the person leaves giving you the reason you have changed. Then wat is to be done now? the person choose to irresponsibly leaves you behind, choose to be selfish. Where do one stand now? Where do one go from here? How do one even find back the very ownself? Who is going to help you along?
Is it really worth changing so much for the person you love?


Yesterday i woke up at 1! OMG! I was suppose to wrk at 2! so as usual...i'm late... my boss almost killed me... cos i had to leave at 6 to go meet my fren ( Ah Shan) to take my IPP cert. then had to meet Serene and Jess at 6+ so we could go watch a play together.
So my boss threw so much work at me... then ask me clear out his cupboards and drawers and clean his awards and clean his desk! Tink i Ah Sam izzit!!!! so irritatin! make me work til 630 then still scold me sayin that i'm so late then have to leave so early, sayin i shd come earlier! I shd so kill myself! If its not for the $$ i would juz screamed *#%?$&*%# at him!
So i only could leave at 630!
stupid! then rush all the way down to Raffles city.... panic lik shit! then u noe wat? My fren cant make it and forgot to tell me!!!!! I'm so gona faint lah! So no choice then ask if Serene reach alr... then she was still stuck in a jam on the bus... haiz... so Jess was gona b late so wat am i to do? Walk arnd as usual.....
They both came abt 735.... hahaa! met in the toilet, then Jess was kinda hungry that she didnt really wana go for the play... bt gt persuaded by me. hahaa! so since all 3 of us were hungry, we went to get ya kun bread! Hahaa!!!!!
So off to the play we went......

The Play Was called " It Takes Two" by Hossan Leong and Selena Tan. How i got the tics? Charmaine Huang! hahaa!! apparantly she asked so many of us to go then in the end she not goin! * eyes open big big* She watch b4 alr..... we got free complimentary tics to watch cos Jean tis cool gal from Biviamo is the stage manager for the production!!! * eyes poppin out* Tats lik so super cool! I oso wan!!! can go act super cook w her to get in? hahaa!
Anw, its really super, extraordinary funny cos both comedians could juz make a joke out of anything and everything! From partnership to marriage to casino! Everything could be a joke. I'm so amazed by how they manage to bring out the whole stand-up. The value- added to the fun was the singing! they both could really serenade.... selena Tan's voice was fabulous! it was so strong. * jaw dropped open* Hossan was so cute playin the piano n singing! I so had something for guys that can play the piano! hahaa! Too bad he's a sista!
I would say i really wouldn't mind watching it again! n if u wana relieve stress or juz wana losen up or juz make urself hapi, go watch it! Its fantastic! its really good! * stand no stop mouth*

After all tat, we 3 gals went to Newton! hahaa! the usual spot. 38 as usual we tok abt all sort of things.... gossipy bt well its a women thing. Guys do too! * stick out my tongue n draw a cross over it* Well, so chat n chat we went on n on...
Oh! here i wana say.... CONGRATULATIONS JESSICA PEH SHI HUI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aft all the pain n tears, and sad moments... u finally made it to be w the Grizzy Bear! Hahaa!!! * clap your hands* How do u feel? Up in the sky? hahaa! Smile!

Okie! so now almost 99.99998 % of all my frens r lik twins! * stick lik glue to their partners*
Well.... at least my frens r in the spring mood! Hapi!

Fish! hear of ur un fortunate events at work... Hmm... jia you okie! Pretty gal can make it!

Can u stop making me psychotic! 1 moment u keep looking for me, the next when i decide to juz give u a small msg, u stop bothering! Stupid! Stop making me feel tat i'm constantly on my toes! I need to rest....

" The word love had value to us back then, like currency you save up greedily and handed over only when you knew that what you were getting in return was worth it. When I finally told him and he said it back, I felt like I'd won the lottery."

" Over the years our currency had become devalued as we started to hand out I love yous like tips, carelessly tossing them at each other because we knew it was expected. Our loving declarations had followed economic principles until supply seemingly overtook demand simply because the word was so plentiful. Until we'd forgotten that telling each other " I love you" had ever had value, and the meaning had become devalued, gone the way of the Russian ruble"


Isn't it very true for many of us? tat aft getting the most important part of the relationship, we forgot tat the love requires us to give it the same amount of care and concern to maintain it. We tend to forget the little things tat we say to each other to make the love grow.
As time goes by, we forgot that the love, care and concern is needed. The love starts to slowly die...n yet we still do not see the reason y.
We always tink the most important part of the relationship was to hear the person tell u how much u meant to them. But at some point we failed to tell the person how much the person meant to us. When we say the words, do we really meant wat we say? Do we truely meant " I love you" or is it juz a habit?
Dun let the love that u have been fighting so hard to get go down the drain. Cherish the person as how u did from the moment u set your eyes on him/her. God isn't always nice.... if he knows u dun cherish the special person he've given to u, he will take the person away... Then r u gona sing the Mariah Carey song, ' We belong together' ?

Hahaa! today goin for interview for starhub again! bt at Fang's sis recuit company. Hmm... Sales position.... duno if i can make it man... I'm not exactly the sales person u noe.... heez..(*_*")
Well, its juz an interview so juz give it a try... Anw, have been tokin to Fish tis daes.... its seems tat I'm nt feeling olrite... bt well i have frens tat i tok to i guess. Told Fish abt wat happened in my family.... y i needed a job now.... I suddenly realise tat $$ really cause alot of problems. Guess being rich is good....
Fish seems to noe where she wan to be in the future bt yet unable to find the road that leads her there now. Well, guess its a process for everyone to go thru, of being lost n findin the way there.

Oh! u noe wat! 2 days ago, i went into m'sia w HL, Simone n Serene to hav a big feast! Hee... n i saw the guy tat i always look at in skool!!!! OMG!! Cum to tink of it, its kind of funi... remembering how ga ga i was over him last time. He still look the same. Tall, Thin and tanned.... hahaa!

Okie! I'm fat! cos my mum Screamed at mi to say i'm fat n i shd go on a diet... she tinks i'm ugly! Can u imagine my mum.....

Hey Donkey baby! thx for the prata.....it was gd... bt mummy says i'm fat... Boo Hoo!

Fang's Bf is flyin to HK today.... hmm... guess Fang will surely miss him. Bt well they quarrelled... pls u 2.... dun do tis.... u noe u love him n he noes he loves u.... Smile ppl!

These days i have been listening to " We Belong Together".....

这是我们 第一次 知道 ,什么叫做痛彻心扉,我的世界没有罪恶,你的世界没有誓言.....

i finally manage to juz do little little changes to tis new blog site.... Hahaa! stupid!
Ask me if its suppose to be a new start? Nope its not.... its juz to make someone forget me.... to no longer noe wat i'm doin or feeling.... i believe the person will feel better.

I'm so irritated with my computer!!!! CMI!!!! i hate anything to do with comps in fact... the stupid html is driving me crAzY! i tink i seriously nid help (-_-").....

Have been tokin to tiff on the fone juz now... She was kinda disappointed coz she failed her TP again.... I so hope she pass.... i believe she will make it 1 day. I'm pinning hopes on her to pass.

Tis days i found out that a fren of my is heart-broken as well... Her gf broke off with her, n the reason given was that there was my fren was broke as she is currently jobless. My fren was very hurt cos she really love the gal alot....
After so long, it still came to tis... they knew they had to end it anyway but guess tis was a big blow for my fren. Have been accompanying her yesterday. Knew she needed to be out, cos being alone only makes 1 tink of more...
Now the only thing she can do is to look for a job and work hard at it... She can only tell herself that the gal left her cos she no longer love her. " You use to be an Angel, but now a Devil"

I do believe the gal is hurting too... but she has and noe how she wants to live her life... n no one and nothing can stop her. She faces the reality of her life, and choose to never be weak.
I truely admire her for being able to give up something so dear and try to get to the aim she wants.

I'm feeling fine.... so dun ever tell me that i'm not alrite cos it will only make me feel sad. Stop with the " R u okie?" , " dun be sad..", y do ppl hav to constantly remind me of the hurt that i'm in? Don't do that. If ever i needed a shoulder, i will go all out to find a shoulder.
I appreciate care n concern, but guess i dun want to always be remind of the pain that my heart feels... i hope as frens you all should understand.

Sandra
1985

+ tiffany
+ HL
+ Wendy
+ Donkey
+ Cindy
+ Keong
+ MaoMao

+ auntieSusie
+ Forever@21
+ CrazyShoes
+ Maine's
+ HL's

+ Twit Twittering



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